I am starting to get very tired of meeting new people and being polite and attempting to make small talk when I've never been very good at it. It's starting to wear on me. I was really sad last night on the phone with Jordan and I think that was the reason why. I told Glen, the principal, the other night that I was shy and he jokingly asked when they got to see that side of me. I'm afraid it's going to start coming out more and that it's going to look rude. It's just so tiring trying to be social all the time. The people I'm staying with, the Bittner's, are very social before and after church. I've never liked the before and after church time since Redford Lutheran. I don't know anyone and I hate the forced socialization and meeting people. I'm so tired of being introduced. And the social-polite-small talk is going on all the time right now, because I'm living with a family. I really need to find an apartment where I can just be by myself. Though a part of me wants to wait to look for one until I get my car so that I can go on my own and don't have to again, be social with Dan, even though he's a very nice man. I've never been really comfortable around older people, I don't know why. I just feel really overstressed right now. I was supposed to go look at apartments today but I think I'm going to lie in bed and take a nap and just kind of be alone for awhile.
I can't wait to see Jordan. He better get here soon.