Pink-Haired Girl (details15) wrote,
Pink-Haired Girl
details15

This candle is going to burn out

I feel really overwhelmed, overcommitted, overeverything.

I got so much done yesterday and suddenly it still seems like there's so much to do. It's like, if I focus on school, like yesterday, I get nothing done around the house, or I don't get to spend quality time with Jordan. We can put our bed together or have sex, but if we do the first we're too tired for the second. I honestly don't see how I could possibly start to get sick of Jordan because I feel like I hardly ever see him. And I'm thinking about not doing martial arts and that means I'd have a lot more time for other stuff but it's another three hours that I wouldn't be able to see Jordan. It's nice to do something together but it's hard when there are so many other things I feel like I should be doing.

We still have lots of thank-you cards to write. I'm afraid we won't get them mailed until summer when I have some free time, and I feel terrible about it, but there really is no time. I feel like a terrible PSIA coach because I don't have time to meet with my students. I really want to go get my Texas license so I can have one in my new name but I have to stay after school every day this week and that means that I can't get it done this week, which also means I can't get a check card on my account and I don't have one in my maiden name so I can't access all of our money. It's all starting to get to me.

I honestly feel like I'm using my time better, too, and there's still so little of it. I woke up this morning and remembered that there was a load of clothes in the washer still that had been there since saturday. Four days and I haven't remembered or had time to change over the laundry. We're out of a bunch of food at home but I haven't had time to grocery shop.

I know I'm partly so tired because I'm on my period and that's just making everything seem a little worse than it is, but even so. It's just feels like I'm standing still and running everywhere all at once. I have a new mother-in-law who's wonderful but who wants me to call her often and just chat and I don't have time for it and I feel bad but my family doesn't talk like that, my mom calls my Grandma when she has news, not every Sunday.

I want to go to the doctor and figure out why my cramps are starting to get worse again instead of better but I don't know when I'm supposed to do that. We still haven't unpacked everything from Disney. I spent hours cleaning this weekend and I can't keep up with it so it's starting to get messy again, not to mention that I never even finished so I still have the whole living room to clean from scratch. We haven't vaccuumed more that twice since I moved in.

I just needed to get that all out I guess. Maybe if I cry I'll feel better.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 5 comments