By The One Before
I call her names
I ridicule her hair
I point out her faults
I put her down for her reputation
I hate her not for who she is
Maybe I don't
I like myself
Who I am
But if I were in her shoes
what was once mine
would belong to me again
So I ridicule and put down
to cover the hurt, pain, and jealousy within.
Two loves, each different, and yet the same
I love both, yet I don't know which to claim
One is from old, the other a newer kind
My heart's want confusing the reason of my mind
One felt so right for so long
Then for awhile it felt so wrong
Now I'm not sure how I feel
I don't know if it was ever real
Now I have a love that's new
And I feel like I should adore you
Together we seem to make more sense
Yet I can't seem to pick a side of the fence
I don't know which is true
My love for him or my love for you
Which pair of us was meant to be?
Which of you was meant for me?
tears sting in my eyes, unshed
Why let them fall?
Who would catch them as they descend?
Or better even, wipe them away
words caught in my throat, unspoken
Why talk and voice my fears?
Who would listen as my heart
Or better even, understand my pain
sadness echoes in my soul
a need for help burns through my grief
a shoulder to catch my tears
a hand to wipe them away
an ear to hear my fears
a heart to understand their cause
and arms to hold me as I cry
and free the pain from inside