February 23rd, 2002


Bathroom Reading and Poetry

If College Students Wrote the Bible
  • The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning—cold.
  • The Ten Commandments would actually be only five—double-spaced and written in a large font.
  • New editions would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
  • Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
  • Paul's letter to the Romans would have been Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
  • Cain killed Abel because they were roommates.
  • Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years because they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
  • Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
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  • Current Music
    "Sick Cycle Carousel" by Lifehouse
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