June 28th, 2002

s60 harriet half smile

Tatoos

Yeah, so I've been seriously considering this whole tatoo business. And I have a request of Nikki and/or Beef: would you design a tatoo for me? I may or may not use one of them, cause I don't know for sure if I would be getting it or not. My only requirement is that I would like the Christian fish symbol to be the main part of the design. Other than that, my preferences are just something not too big, and I was thinking either my ankle, between my shoulders, or on one shoulder. So if you guys wanna give it a shot, let me know what you come up with, and that would be very cool. Thanks lots.
  • Current Music
    Star Wars 2
s60 harriet half smile

Fallen stars and dying dreams...

I very much miss being in love.

You would think I would be sad after realizing today that I was most definitely not anymore. You would think I would be sad after realizing that one of my dreams for the past ?four? years is dead. They seem like things that would make one feel sad.

Except that I haven't really felt anything for awhile now. "To fully experience life, the extremes of happiness and sadness must be felt" (or something like that) ~Brett Thurman...right now I don't feel like I'm exactly living.

I think right now I would take being in love with someone who didn't love me back, or who did but wouldn't date me, or did but I couldn't be with because of distance, or who thought I was the most disgusting thing on the planet, instead of this nothing inside.

I very much miss being in love.
  • Current Music
    still Star Wars ep. 2
s60 harriet half smile

This sounds kinda bitter but I'm not really...cause I'm not really anything

I felt very anti-social today. Maybe if I drank I wouldn't have felt so out of place. It was hard to include myself in most of the conversations, since they were mostly revolving around alcohol. And seeing as I don't drink, I didn't have a whole lot to add. I mean, my stories about alcohol are ones about my father getting so wasted that he and my mom fought and he threatened to divorce her, and ended up sleeping in the car all night, or my mom getting wasted and not caring about her children, or my dad calling me a bitch because I was upset that mom was wasted and didn't care about her children. Or me comforting my sisters when they were too young to understand why mom didn't want to put them to bed. Most people don't want to hear those kinds of drinking stories.
  • Current Music
    a really whiney Anakin