September 18th, 2002

s60 harriet half smile


I really love the way guys smell when they are all clean and nice and have a really great cologne on. I know that sounds really stupid, but if I'm just walking past a guy who smells nice, I get all silly feeling. For instance, I am totally not interested in Nathan, a freshmen here who my roommate knows. But he always smells so nice, it's just, whenever he's around it's like, ahhhh...

Timmy, you are so much the same way. (At least when you don't smell like cigarettes, yuck!) Most of the time, anyway, you don't smell like cigarettes, you smell very ahhhh...I'd say you smell yummy but that implies some sort of food/fruit smell and that's not what you smell like.

Okay, this has been a really weird entry but there it is. Wanna hear about something different? My diversity class is stupid. Apparently I'm a racist. Now, the definition of racism they are using is "a system of advantage (or privilege) based on race." And by that definition white people are racist because white people have advantages and privileges based on race. And they listed out a lot of these "so-called" privileges and advantages, and they are full of crap. What they listed was not "white privilege" but "well-off white privilege." For instance, they mentioned that a white person can be assured of finding hair salons that will be able to cut and style their hair. Well, sure, I can find a salon that will cut and style my hair...if I drive 15 to 30 minutes away from my house. White people can send their kids to a school where they feel sure they will be safe...sure, if my parents pay hella money to a private school in a different area. Another one was, because I am white I can, if I want to move, live in an area that I want to live and can afford to live. Gee, how long have my parents wanted to move to a better neighborhood? But they can't afford that privilege because they are trying to scrape up enough money to afford other "privileges." These aren't privileges that being white gives you. These are privileges that being white and having money gets you. I'm not saying that I don't get privileges because I'm white. True, I don't get followed around a store while shopping. Except, that I'm a teenager so sometimes I do get followed around while shopping. Or I don't look like a rich white kid most of the time, so if I'm in a rich store I do get looked at funny because why am I there when I obviously can't afford to buy something here. It's not white privilege that they're talking about. It's rich white privilege, for the most part.

Bah. I'm sure that made no sense. Time to stop thinking.
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    aggravated aggravated

Lisa, Sarah, and the terrible, awful, no good, VERY BAD DAY!

So Australia is almost for sure a no-go. Come to find out today that the school won't pay for it. Nice of them to tell us that when we asked the first time. But Sarah's taking it worse than I am. Me, I think I just didn't let myself quite believe it was going to happen, so I wouldn't get too upset when (if?) it didn't. But she was really excited about it. So keep her in your prayers (if you pray). Me, well, if I don't go Down Under I get to see Brett (maybe twice) and Bud and Troy and a lot of other people. And I get to be around for Charlotte's Web (maybe in it!!!) and I get to take History of Theater and the other class that's only available in the spring. Maybe Paul is just rubbing off on me. ("I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.") Anyway, Sarah and I plan to make one final valiant attempt, however unlikely the results may be. So I'll keep you informed.
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    grumpy grumpy