October 13th, 2004

dream sad

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I'm so stressed right now it's killing me. Dammit dammit dammit.

Parent teacher conferences were tonight which means I was at school for over 12 hours. And I didn't even get things done that I wanted to get done.

I'm barely staying afloat right now on the immediate items and I haven't touched the long-term ones yet at all. If I don't get a shitload of homework done this weekend I'm in serious, serious trouble.

And I haven't talked to Chris for more than 10 minutes in a week. Tonight I was going to try to get everything done by 10 so that I could talk to him, and I think it was doable, too. But then I found out he won't be able to get out of work until after I need to be in bed. And I need to be in bed early because I'm not getting enough sleep and I can feel it at work, it's affecting me in a bad way. But just to give you an example of how stressed I am, and how much I'm missing my fiance, when Chris told me that I wouldn't be able to talk to him tonight, I burst into tears.

So no one ever said life was supposed to be easy, but right now it's really, really hard. Please pray for me to find discipline. If I don't I'm going to burn out.
  • Current Music
    "Later On" by the Boondock Saints
best to you

Sigh...I've been doing a lot of that lately

Chris left work and told me to call him, and I got to talk to him for a little less than half an hour, I think. Which, while not nearly long enough, was better than nothing and it definitely helped. It was so nice to talk to him, but I really need an hour long convo soon.

Jordan brought me food and sent me a very very great feel better email.

And Troy didn't get mad when I told him that I didn't have time to talk to him tonight.

Tomorrow I'm going to get up and do devos with Anna. And tomorrow afternoon I'm going to go to the bank and eat dinner and work out. And tomorrow night I'm going to do all my lesson plans for Monday so that I can have them done the day BEFORE they are due to my teacher, TWO days before I'm going to teach them. Because that's how I should be doing it.

Now I'm doing devos with my fiance and then I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
  • Current Mood
    better