This past weekend was my last Fish trip ever. We went to Michigan and did a night of stuff for the 7th and 8th graders at Trinity Uttica. It was a lot of fun, and a "worthy" final Fish trip.
Today was the Fish Party, the last "rehearsal" of the year. Alec did the devotion--we washed each other's feet. I've never done that before, and I thought it was really cool. I washed Ben's feet and Lori washed mine. And then we had pizza, and Ben and Elizabeth did a dance for everyone in honor of Mona (it was really funny). And so during the first part of the rehearsal, I was all calm and it was no big deal, Fish was ending and that's okay. Then I went around and gave everyone hugs. And I saved Ben and Lori for last, because they were really important ones. And Ben and I got really sad cause we weren't going to see each other after this semester, and Ben got all defiant when I told him I was going to try and move to Australia after I graduated. He said I couldn't, or at least that I had to come back and see him. I told him I would.
Then I said good-bye to Lori, although I still have to give her my present so it's not totally good-bye yet. And I told her how I remembered her, on my campus visit, talking up Fish to me and Melissa, and how I did it my freshmen year because of that.
And then I decided that in order to properly mourn the passing of Fish, I needed to be the last person to leave the theater. So I ended up staying with Sarah Ross and Ben for awhile until Sarah left at about quarter to 6, and then Ben and I left at about 5 to when I needed to go to my class.
So I really think I'm better than I thought I would be. When I was talking to Lori, I mentioned that I really thought that, while Fish has meant so much to me and while this year more than any other was one where I felt like I belonged to the group and was really a part of it, it had to end at some point and it's time to move on. And at first I was fine. But now it's like my head keeps saying that but my heart is like "hello, what? It's Fish. You can't let it go."
So, yeah, I could use a hug.