Seth: O.E.? I hate that shit. Pure piss. Why, do you have any?
Dom: Which liquor store are you going to?
Troy: It's called Shady McSellsToMinors. You'll know it when you don't see the sign.
-Dom and Troy on the way to get some Beer
"Dude, hold on, I look kinda drunk, I'm gonna put on a hat."
-Matt, preparing to go out with his roommate
Nicole: I drink quite a bit.
Joe: No you don't, not compared to say ALL OF IRELAND!
Kim: This semester, I'm gonna prove pizza and beer alone can meet all human nutritional needs.
Mark: Leave out the pizza though, you'll get drunk faster.
"It's not peer pressure, it's just your turn to drink."
-Ryan, to his friend Mike during a drinking game
Matt: Timmy there's two of you.
Timmy: Then your world is twice as good.
-After two handles of Captain Morgan's
"No bounce bounce makes the beer go drip drip."
-Beth, drunkenly telling her friend to stop jumping on the trampoline while she was drinking
Marisa: You're drinking already? The sun's not even down yet...
Katie: Yeah, God can still see you.
-Marisa and Katie, chastising their friend Jen for having a drink after work
"It's not fair, it's like you have immunity to whatever you say for a few days each month. We don't get immunity for being drunk off our ass."
-Dave, on PMS
Krystal: You guys are alcoholics.
Jay: No, alcoholics wake up and need to drink, I wake up and want to drink. There is a vast difference.
"I can't find my book. Let's go drink my problems away."
-Pat of Marquette University on math homework