Yeah, that's about how I feel right now, both because of the weather and because I really think that there's some hidden cameras taping my life right now because stuff like this only happens in movies. I feel really messed up right now. I really don't know which way is up.
I miss my best friend.
I miss when life made sense. Wait, did it ever?
I want to call an old friend and make amends. I could use another friend right now. What if it's too late?
For someone who doesn't cry anymore it's about all I want to do right now.
It's cold in my room.
"I'm just a fucked up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind."
"I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be."
~Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
I really feel like I need to get away. I felt really out of place tonight. I wanted to go home a lot, too, but that didn't feel so great once I got here. I think part of it was from when I hugged my dad. His stomach felt fatter than I remembered it, but his face is really thin. It didn't help that his glasses are huge and really dwarf his face anyway. I asked mom, and she said he's under doctor's care, but wouldn't tell me what for cause "last time he heard me telling someone he got mad at me for talking about him behind his back." So I have no idea what's wrong with him at the moment. I think that's part of what got me all out of sorts to begin with.
I really want to go back to school. I really want to avoid that phone call. I really want to curl up in my woobie and not come out for a few days. I could really use another adventure away from reality.