That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential.
Josh: Do you have any idea what you're talking about?
Cher: No. Why, does it sound like I do?
Okay, so the attorney general says there is too much violence on TV and that has to stop. But even if we took all the violence out of TV there would still be violence on the news. So, until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.
Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Uh, no, Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.
Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein.
Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.
Cher: Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
Cher: I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'.
Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused.
Mel: Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.
Josh: You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.
Josh: I was thinking about looking into environmental law.
Mel: Why? You want to have a frustrating and miserable life?
Cher: Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.
