Pink-Haired Girl (details15) wrote,
Pink-Haired Girl

LIfe Changes

About three weeks ago I found out I didn't get a job we were nearly certain I was going to get. The principal told me I was the front runner and we really hit it off. Then someone came in with 30 years experience and a master's degree and I got a rejection call. This was devastating because the reaction both Jordan and I felt was "Well, now does this mean we can't go to St. Louis anymore?" and it started me feeling anxious, stressed, and depressed. So I went to my therapist (almost the next day, because she had a cancellation). She helped me to see that I was so anxious about finding a job because moving was dependent upon that circumstance, and every rejection meant that maybe we wouldn't move, and we really wanted to move. She helped me to realize that it's okay to go ahead and make the decision to move even without a job. She also helped me realize that there are other things I could do even if I don't get a teaching position, too.

So that night I went home and talked it over with Jordan and the next day I finally resigned from Redeemer. With no jobs yet both Jordan and I decided that we were going to go ahead and make the commitment and move.

That brings me to now. I have had a few more noes since then, and am still hearing back from some places. I was very disappointed when a path my therapist suggested I take proved impractical next year--she suggested going back to get my master's degree, and while at first I was scared, it started to really appeal. I thought it would be neat to go back and do it full time in between jobs right after we moved and just get it all done--and then I found out I would have had to pay out-of-state tuition and that was about double what the in state tuition was and I couldn't even figure out how to rationalize that so I had to let that door close this year. I am considering working for a year and then once I've established residency quitting and still doing my master's for a year. But I also want to have another baby sooner rather then later. So, a lot is up in the air right now.

So as of now, Jordan is still waiting to interview for the position at ESIC, I am interviewing and waiting to hear back from interviews, we have contacted a realtor about selling our house, and we're trying to get it clean so we can actually move forward with that. While making the decision was a way to take control over the situation, it's still a little scary to relinquish control on the job-side back to God and trust that He will put me in the right place. But, that's where we are now. We are really excited to move back closer to family and I'm trying to focus on that right now and leave the worrying for later.

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