Senior Wills from the Class of 1998
...to Brett, a life's supply of nachos and pepsi. I also leave him details and a cookie.
...to Lisa, a lot of confetti. I also give to you all of your fries, Starburst. I leave you, Gretel, a stiff multer.
...to Brett, a case of Spam, a loaf of toast, a bottle of vintage Pepsi, Starburst to replace the ones I stole.
...to Sarah Burkee, I also leave a can of "spot" remover and a pair of spandex shorts.
...to Lisa, 2 GREEN packs of Starburst with a sign that says, "Please make another selection," and the full ability to maintain a firm grasp on the obvious (it wasn't all yours before, I was sharing).
...to Melissa (Giggles), the ability to contain yourself in a funny situation. At this rate, you'll laugh till you explode one day.
...to Brett, a can of Spam, a box of Peeps and a Cadbury Egg, a case of Pepsi, and a $50 gift certificate to Big Boy. At least I know you'll be eating well. Also, a Sam Goody nametag bearing the name, "Lucas."
...to Lauren, a "Feels-Like-Butch's-Hair" Chia Pet, a pair of sunglasses, and a bottle of cucumber spray. No more smelly buses!
...the members of our lunch table, a box of nachos, a corn puff, a peanut butter cup, and...a cigarette.
Next edition: Senior Wills from the Class of 1999!